Go up and never stop.

However, we know with life and aging comes the good stuff and the b.s. 

There are times that you have to press the pause button. There are times that life presses the pause button for you.

That damn pause button...

I was on the path of all the way up and don't stop get it, get it. Then life pressed the pause button on my shit. You know just as the funky ass bass line is about to set it off someone hits the pause button. What the heck! For whatever reason they felt what was going on at that moment was more important than the funky bassline.

You stop bobbing your head. You hesitate to hear what is going on. At the time you thought someone stopped the song. You felt like life just completely stopped. When actually it caused you to pause in your tracks.  The Pause is different from the Stop button. The Pause button does not stop the track and return to go; it does not stop the song completely. You see it is like that comma in a sentence. It separates a series of related events in a sentence. The pause separates the series of events in our lives that are related to each other. 

I have paused for parenthood. 

I have paused for love.

I have paused to take care of my body.

I have paused for ministry.

I have paused to catch my breath.

I have paused twice to bury and grieve the death of my parents.

I have paused when anxiety and panic attacks hit me several times daily.

I have paused to carve out a personal sanctuary of prayer and meditation.

I have paused for shit that at the time I thought was completely important.

I have paused because I needed to just pause.

Guess what?

I carried life in my womb when I paused.

I raised beautiful children when I paused.

I reunited with my love when I paused.

I reignited the fire and passion within me that loving him brings.

I learned to love every curve, contour, and muscle that makes me.

I learned that can't nobody love me better than I love me.

I surrendered to the spiritual office and gifts that God has given me.

I learned that life is fleeting and that my parents' will not always be here.

I learned that even though they are physically gone they are still with me.

I learned that mental health should never be taken for granted.

I know that I carry the sacredness of God and the Spirit within me at all times.

I embrace the I Am within me and that is me.

I completely get that prayer is my talking to God and giving thanks with adoration.

I get it now why meditation slows me down to listen and observe.

I show up and remain mindful.

I learned that the unnecessary shit guided me into the direction I needed to go.

I know to just pause.

Let me hip you to something. It is perfectly fine to press the Pause button. Actually, I challenge you to Pause. Whatever you do during the pause make it count. If you did some shit you regret when you paused, let that mess go.

Pause but, never Stop. It is okay to pause; period.

Monica Yvonne Craig